So On I Go

On We All Go

Hello fellow internet goers,

Friends and new people, thank you for being here!

This is the “introspective thoughts” portion of my bi-monthly newsletter situation. The next one will focus on tattoos, more art stuff, & travel. I mentioned this in my last letter but I’ll say it again: I am working on moving away from Meta, so if you’d like to be kept up to date with my discoveries, travels, and tattoo news then please subscribe/share this with other people who might be interested<3
Also, I just want to say, I don’t think replacing one toxic social media platform with a different one is necessarily the “solution” but I think moving away from the toxicity and shifting our awareness is a good beginning.

There’s a part of me that finds the collective urge to share things on the internet ridiculous and another part of me that understands it as a way for people to come together and be seen. On the one hand, it’s a convenient way to share resources and knowledge, on the other it can easily become overwhelming to have access to so many thoughts, opinions, and ideas. I catch myself daydreaming, fantasizing about the days when the internet didn’t exist and when life required a lot of real time elbow grease. Not that I want to be taking an axe to wooden stumps to make sure I stay warm at night, but I am sure there was a different kind of presence to life in those days. Maybe I’ve been romanticizing as a way to escape the chaos that reigns in the present.

The frequency of the world today is LOUD. The radio waves are absolutely off the charts buzzing and no matter how much I stay off of social media, I can still feel the air vibrating with noise. I know I am not separate from any of the pandemonium, none of us are. And I fully acknowledge that I am lucky to live in comfort.

My monk self wishes to go off and sit in silence for the rest of my days. My other selves wish to do everything, everywhere, all at once for the betterment of the world and everything that has ever existed. I want to do it all, be it all. It’s easy to feel helpless in this overstimulating technological era.

(all of these memes are from @ominous_clouds_of_smoke on instascam)

Here are some relevant lyrics to a Beastie Boys song “I Don’t Know” that I’ve always loved:

What's pleasing to the eye
In the delusion of my sight
Is not what I find when I reach into the light
I have lost my mind

I'm walking through time
Deluded as the next guy
Pretending and hoping to find
That distant peace of mind

I don't know
Who does know?
There is no
Where to go

It's not so simple as I try to wish
But then again what is?
There is no other worthy quest
So on I go

It’s a bit nihilistic but everything is left on an upward swing with “So on I go” and SO ON I GO. On we all go! The only way out is through beloveds. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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IN OTHER NEWS…
I think my cat can see things I can’t. Spirits? Doodads? Thingamajigs?

There is magic in so many places, big and small. Like shattered glass on the sidewalk - looks like a fricking painting.

I have been a hermit reading and drawing.

BOOKS:
Books have been saving my life these days, bless everyone who has every written a good book (both fiction and non-fiction/ everything in between). I am currently reading the book ‘North Woods’ by Daniel Mason. I’m loving it.

Here’s a list of really good books I’ve read in the past 2 months:

-My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem
-The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks
-The Legacy of Luna by Julia Butterfly Hill
-Our Migrant Souls: A Meditation on Race & the Meanings and Myths of Latino by Héctor Tobar
-Belly Up by Rita Bullwinkel

These books were awesome and I highly recommend all of them. Especially the ones by Bell Hooks and Héctor Tobar. I feel that these two are especially relevant to the present times and in the journey of learning and unlearning.

Other things:

Here’s a postcard that I received in the mail from my friend Yetta. She makes a lot of awesome ceramics. Receiving this card made me smile and I hope it makes you smile too. Remember, you are loved.

Thanks for reading.
Much love, xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
-Ella

P.S. - I’ve been making a lot of cards which are always useful to have on hand. There’s always birthdays and things to celebrate. Here’s a dragon painting I made the other day whilst listening to the podcast “National Park After Dark”. Definitely a great podcast to add to your list if you love a good stories about mystery, survival, and the great outdoors.